The Queenager

Well I’m currently traveling for work and it has been such an interesting process so far. Traveling in Canada or I guess traveling from Canada is quite boring. There’s no hustle and bustle. I’m so used to noise, constant noise. And it’s so incredibly quiet in Vancouver. I guess that is almost like the soundtrack of my life right now which is quite ironic. Someone who loves music as much as I love music can’t seem to find the music in my life. I don’t know if that makes sense or not, but basically I just I don’t hear music figuratively speaking. I just hear silence. I just hear breeze. And I don’t know maybe it’s about me looking, or listening, for a different kind of music right now. Wow. I think that’s it. It’s about me listening for a different kind of music.

I’m sitting on a bench alone outside of hotel. And it’s almost something from out of a romantic comedy. There is a field with cows to my left and to my right are these perfectly manicured trees and bushes and there are tulips or some kind of flower all over the grounds. The grass is some of the greenest grass I have ever seen that’s actually real. There is a gazebo in the center of it all. It’s really quite surreal and even though it is cold as a witches titty right now it is still quite beautiful and serene and peaceful.

Anyhoo, let me tell you about this mystery chip. So when I took my car to the value long-term parking at the airport I scanned the barcode that was given to me when I pre-paid and I received a green chip. Now I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with this shit. I thought OK well maybe this allows me to get on the train to the airport for free. Well, that wasn’t it because I still had to pay. And then I thought OK well maybe then I’m supposed to put it in something so that they know that my car is supposed to be here. But there was nowhere for me to put it. So I literally have no idea what to do with the green chip. But it is safe and secure and I am going to make sure that I don’t lose it because I’m almost certain there has to be a reason for this chip. I almost feel like this is another recurring theme in my life at this moment, having something in my life that must be useful but I can’t figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do with it. Gotta love this thing called life.

That moves me onto the topic of my insane libido. Why didn’t anyone prepare me for this? Why aren’t women talking about this insatiable desire for sex in your 40s? Oh well I guess if anyone talked about it no one would ever leave their toxic relationships. What are other women doing? What are other single women doing who are in their 40s or even their 50s?! I just cannot fathom having to go through this for years. When I looked it up– I had to research– because I was literally vexed by how intense my desire for sex is right now. At times it feels as if I am going mad. But apparently it starts when you’re in your early 40s. I guess I missed that boat, because let me tell you I didn’t get it in my early 40s but it is rearing with a vengeance right now and it is absolutely, positively insane. Like I am pleasuring myself almost twice a day. This shit blows.